Posted on by Rugged Troubador

Manic-Expressive

My dictionary defines Depression as:

severe despondency and dejection, typically felt over a period of time and accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy.

I wish I could say I have no idea what this feels like, but unfortunately I’m all too familiar. In fact, I’ve dealt with depression intimately ever since my early 20’s. Hell, maybe even before. I was pretty emotional even as a kid. Then again, what kid wasn’t emotional?

There’s a medical definition as well, but it’s basically the same as the one I’ve just given, with some more specifics. I’m not going to argue with Merriam-Webster, but I’d like to propose an alternative definition to depression.

Depression, as I see it, is exactly what it is: a depressing, a closing in, a shutting off. It is so debilitating because it causes its host to do the opposite of what it was designed to do: to open up, to expand, to bloom. All energy is by its very nature expansive, and wanting to go out. Depression is the perverse opposite of this: a withdrawing in – but not in a way that serves the Being, but in a way that blocks it.

I wish I could say I knew the quick and easy cure. I could go on about emotions being like storm clouds, about how it’s all in one’s perception, but what good would that do? I’m not here to solve problems.

I like to think I’m not alone, however. In this big, scary, wonderful world, I like to think there’s others out there who knows what this contracting feeling is like – just as they know what the expanding feeling is like. I’d like to connect with those people – to get to know them by name, and to see what they’re all about. Not so we can commiserate with each other, NO! But so that we can begin to help each other. So that we can get out of the unnatural closing feeling, and get into the natural opening feeling.

Maybe we could go all the way to the other end of the spectrum. To a place where we’re open and blooming. That’s the way we’re supposed to be, it seems to me.

Manic Expressive.

Posted on by Rugged Troubador

Why Intimacy Is More Important Than Music

There is a lot of Music, but not a lot of true human connection, in the world.

Open a streaming app, like Spotify or Pandora, or an online media store, like iTunes. Go to a hub for independent music artists, like SoundCloud or Bandcamp. Visit any sites or services (and there are hundreds) where music, new or old, is simply a click away.

Now walk down the street. Go to a coffee shop. Peruse the aisles of a grocery store, or even a bookstore. Grab a bite at your favorite restaurant. Go to a public park. Go to work. How much actual relating is happening?

I think you’ll notice that what you’ll be hard pressed to find is two or more humans interacting in an authentic, vulnerable way. What you’ll easily find, however, is a lot of smart phones, a lot of laptops, a lot of “blinder vision”.

Of course, smaller towns might elicit more familiarity, but that doesn’t necessarily imply connection, relating, or what I like to call “Intimacy”. Cities or areas with a more expansive urban or cultural sprawl might be more likely to host venues or spaces where people with like minds can meet to share interests, but such places are also known for large amounts of loneliness or isolation in spite of, or indeed because of, the sheer amount of people residing there.

Deep, honest Intimacy – and I’m not just talking about bedroom Intimacy – is rare. Of course, that’s what makes it special. But does it have to be rare to be special? Music is easy to dive into; there’s obviously no shortage of music or musicians. Anyone can put their headphones on – but can anyone venture out of the bubble and start to engage on a deeper level with another human being?

Posted on by Rugged Troubador

Where True Growth Comes From

The only way to ensure that progress is being made from one echelon to another is if pain is being felt. Not the kind of pain that renders a person immobile, but the kind that shocks the system just enough to make him stronger when he returns to his senses.

I used to have some misunderstandings about Growth. I thought it was something that, if you were consistent or even “passionate” enough, you could grow fast, and not really feel it. But the fastest growth is felt, and it feels downright painful.

True Growth must be accompanied by a certain kind of mentality, one in which you’re not really concerned with the bigger picture. Noticing the bigger picture can only overwhelm us and cause us to get discouraged. We might look at all the Pain ahead, and just decide that staying where we are is better.

In a way, we must be willfully ignorant. My PT told me today, “If you think about how heavy it is, you won’t do it.” This can apply to any undertaking. It doesn’t really benefit us to focus on anything other than what’s directly in front of us. We take the small actions, we push ourselves or allow ourselves to be pushed. But letting the gravity, or the density, or the scope, or the magnitude, of what we’re working towards, hold too prominent a place in our minds, is just too likely to throw us off.

And anyway, it’s still going to hurt.

Posted on by Rugged Troubador · 1 Comment

Connections: Now, It’s Personal

I mentioned briefly in my last blog, “A Day In The Life” about networking. I kind of shed networking in a… more cynical light, depicting it as somewhat of a “necessary evil,” much like I often see social media, as per the spirit of the post.

Actually, with proper focus, networking can serve as great vehicle to make progress in both the social and business worlds. Networking is absolutely not optional. It is a tool that is used to make connections, personal ones, that can be the defining bridge to someone’s next place in life. I believe the same is true for social media.

I had never heard the term “networking” so much until I moved to Nashville. When I first considered moving here, I even started hearing the word a lot. “So many opportunities with all of the networking you do!” “There’s so much networking going on!” And they weren’t lyin’.

Nashville may very well be the top networking town in the country. OK, maybe LA or New York, because of their size. But Nashville could very well contain the biggest hub of music networks. Wherever you go, dive bars, cafes, and even churches, people are unavoidably connecting, or building on past connections.

These connections form the framework of the modern business model. They are what is driving us. It used to be “them, and maybe us,” now it’s all of us. The true relationships are made from these kinds of encounters, which always start as personal.

Is networking a “necessary evil”? Yes and no. You want to network, you need to network. The times are a-changin’. You could also network until you’re blue in the face and still have nothing to show for it except a hangover. Perhaps better not to think of it as “evil” and more as “necessary.”

How do you, or how would you like to start, incorporate networking or social media into your daily life in a timely fashion? On Wednesday, I’ll show some ways I intend to tackle this opportunity.